We have collected the best dad jokes shared by many Reddit users. When does a joke become a dad joke? Well, during the delivery it becomes apparent 🙂
- What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
- Why did the octopus laugh Because he had ten-tickles.
- What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? “Dam!”
- What did the fish find at the base of the dam? Bass turds. (Bass is a type of fish)
- What do you call someone who can’t stick to a diet? A desserter.
- I love my furniture. My recliner and I go way back.
- This is my step ladder. I never really knew my real ladder.
- Why do graveyards have gates? Because people are dying to get in.
- You Know what’s the tallest building? The library, because it has the most stories
- A magician was walking down the street. Then, he turned into a grocery store.
- Anyone can get buried when they die, if you want to be cremated you have to urn it.
- My wife is always telling me what to do but when she told me to stop being a flamingo, well- that’s when I put my foot down!
- Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.
- Why do birds fly south in winter? Cause it’s too far to walk.
- What colour is the wind? Blew.
- What’s green, furry, has 4 legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree onto you? A pool table
- What was the elephant doing on the highway? About 20 miles an hour
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh
- Why did the blind man fall into the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
- Three guys walked into a bar. You’d think one of them would have seen it.
- Him: Hey man my fish just died can you say something? Me: Plethora Him: Thanks man that means a lot
- I was abducted by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.
- What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow-woman? Snowballs
- Do your socks have holes in them? No. Then how’d you get your feet in them?
- If a computer could sing what would its name be? A dell
- Ok I just took the photo. Well that’s rude, you should give it back
- I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
- What’s blue and not heavy? Light blue
- To be Frank, I’d have to change my name.
- If a child doesn’t want to take a nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
- What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college? Bison
- Were you built upside down? Because your nose runs and your feet smell
- What’s Harry Potter’s favourite way to get down a hill? Walking. No- Jk, Rolling.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
- What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
- Are you feeling cold? Sit in the corner, it is 90 degrees
- Why do flamingos lift up one leg? Because if they lift both they would fall
- Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says “do you know how to drive this thing?”
- You guys wanna hear a joke about pizza? Nevermind….. it’s too cheesyI have a joke about psychology but you can’t read my mind.
- Do you want to jump rope? No, skip it
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick
- Do you know the joke about the wall? Nevermind, You’ll never get over it.
- I have a joke about time travel, but you guys didn’t like it.
- I have a joke about psychology but you can’t read my mind.
- The joke about the chiropractor? Nevermind, I told it about a week back.
- i have a construction joke, but i’m still working on it.
- Did you hear the joke about the bed? It hasn’t been made up yet.
- I’ve booked an appointment to see a doctor. Which doctor? No, just a regular one.
- What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels
- Where do you find a tortoise with no legs? Where you left it.
- Why do ducks have feathers on their butts? To hide their butt quack
- What is the volume of a pizza with a radius of ‘z’ and width of ‘a’? Pizza
- What’s the difference between a Hippo 🦛 and a Zippo? Ones really heavy, the others a little lighter.
- Whats the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
- “How do you keep an idiot waiting?” Wait a couple seconds then walk off.
- what has 5 toes and isnt your foot? My foot
- Son: can you explain an eclipse? Dad: no son
- The police have arrested the tongue twister world champion. Authorities say that they’ll be giving him a tough sentence.
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef
- Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other, “does this taste funny to you?”
- What do you call a hen who can count her eggs? A mathema-chicken.
- What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
- Your dad is faster at making jokes than your mom. It only took him a few minutes, but it took your mom 9 months.
- Did you know that before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home?
- How many bones are in a hand? A handful
If you want more, go straight ahead to this subreddit and also this one.